I’m Fine


The courthouse was empty of all but a few,
Who’d come to see how the farmer would do,
The truck company’s lawyer was known for his skill,
He’d make you look stupid, then go for the kill.

He started right off with his usual line,
“Now when you got hurt, you said you were fine.”
But the farmer with speech that was slow, sometimes course,
Started telling what happened to Honey, his horse.

But the lawyer jumped in, with anger unmasked,
“That’s interesting old fellow, but it’s not what I asked.
Now ‘fine’ was the word that you used at the scene.
If you were not fine, then what did you mean?”

But the farmer who’s one not accustomed to force,
Started telling again how he loved his old horse,
How she rode in her trailer, attached to his truck,
That runs mostly on prayer and a whole lot of luck.

What else could he do, he owed lots of money,
At auction that day, he’d have to sell Honey.
The lawyer could see he was losing the jury.
His lack of control made him lash out in fury.

“Your rambling is wasting both your time and mine,
Just stick to the truth; did you not say, ‘Fine?'”
The farmer once more tried to talk about Honey
And the things that she did that he thought were funny.

“I OBJECT”, yelled the lawyer, to this story line,
“Judge, tell him to answer, did he not say, ‘Fine’?”
But the judge was enraptured by the old farmer’s tale.
“Overruled” was his answer, to the lawyer’s travail.

Then the farmer continued his long tale of woe.
He was driving as fast as his old truck would go.
The driver behind him was mad as could be.
He passed on a hill, where he couldn’t see.

The farmer said he was forced in the ditch.
The trailer with Honey came loose from its hitch.
“I was lying there wondering, alive? Maybe not,
When I heard a loud noise I was sure was a shot.”

“A patrolman came over and looked down at me.
My eyes wouldn’t focus, there might have been three.
I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever walk,
I wanted to ask him, when he started to talk.”

“He said he was sorry, my horse had to go
With legs that are broken, its best don’t you know?
With gun in his hand, he knelt down by mine.
He asked how I was; I said, ‘I’M JUST FINE!'”

When I ask any one of my grandkids how school was on a given day, they always reply, “Fine”. If the school burned down and they flunked math, they would still say, “Fine”. In fact, when our second son, Jon, was in elementary school there was a fire at school one day, and on top of that one of his teachers had been killed in a car accident that very morning. He didn’t think it important enough to mention to us when he got home!

Our youngest son Tim sent me a joke about Joe and his mule. Joe had to explain to the judge why he was suing because he had said he was fine at the scene of the accident.

I tried to use ‘mule’ in I’m Fine but it was harder if not impossible to make it rhyme, so I just went with ‘horse’. Names are easier, you just find one that rhymes with what you want to say.

I’m sure that the farmer was able to convince the jury that you can’t always be held responsible for what you say under pressure and that’s the moral of the story. Words are sometimes impossible to take back.

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