Lots of kids tell things about me
That I simply didn’t do!
They tell stupid things about me,
Things that I promise just aren’t true.

They tell great big hairy stories
And they tell fabricated lies.
Well, okay, I might be the one
That tasted two of Grandma’s pies.

But it’s a great big stupid fib,
If Jack mentions Harry’s sister,
Because I don’t even like her
And I surely never kissed her!