Hospital Gown

The nurse said, “Take off all your clothes
And put on this hospital gown.
The pictures on the wall tell how.
The doctor will be right around.”

The one who drew the diagrams,
Displayed there on the see-through wall,
Had never tried to put one on
In this dumb four by five foot stall.

Three holes for arms and strings to tie
And flaps for you to wrap around.
I hope, before the doctor comes,
That I can get myself unwound.

But if by chance I don’t succeed
And lose all hope of getting free.
Would someone please call 911
And have them send the EMT?

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