Help Mate


He was strolling towards Hank’s car,
With a clipboard in his hand,
His uniform was spotless.
And his hands and face were tanned.

He motioned at the window
And Hank quickly rolled it down.

His face was stern and smile-less
With a less than pleasant frown.

Hank saw the thing he carried
Wasn’t a clipboard at all,
It was a book of tickets
For the county policemen’s ball.

As the cop began to talk,
Hank’s wife screamed out, “I told you,
It’s the inspection sticker,
You knew it was way past due.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you
That stopped school bus that you passed.
You almost hit the wheelchair
You were going way too fast.”

“Or was it for the stop sign?
You know that you never stop,
You thought you were so darn smart.
Said you didn’t see no cop.”

She went on to berate him
With a voice both shrill and loud,
They both tried to calm her,
Before she could draw a crowd.

“I see your hands are shaking
And I surely can see why,
You need to get a muffler.”
The cop said with wink of eye.

Hank thought for just a minute
That the cop would let him go,
If she hadn’t insisted
On one last, “I told you so.”

She yelled, “Don’t be so stupid!
It’s not what you are thinking,
His hands always shake like that
Right after he’s been drinking.”

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