They had been married for seventy years,
It had been a very good marriage.
It was appropriate that they met their fate
While riding in a horseless carriage.

She had always planned their diet carefully
With just the right vitamins for their health.
Because taking care of their bodies
Was far more important than great wealth.

But now they had passed through Heaven’s Gate
And were taking St. Peter’s tour.
The wonders they saw were unbelievable,
As written, the gold in the streets was pure.

The marvelous food wasn’t fattening,
No need to eat fiber and soybean gruels.
The workshop the man always wanted
Contained the most wonderful tools.

He looked down at his young healthy body
And screamed terrible things at his wife.
Something the man had not ever done
Even once in his whole married life.

“If you hadn’t fed me that health food
And proteins and vitamins galore,
Do you realize we could’ve been here
At least five or ten years before?”