The mailman said he caught a catfish
That weighed a hundred and eighty pounds.
He bragged about his monster catfish
To everyone as he made his rounds.

Old Jake told him he caught a catfish
That was at least twenty times that big.
It had swallowed a fisherman’s boat,
His lantern and all his fishing rig.

Then he said that the fisherman’s stuff
Hadn’t been damaged one little bit.
In fact when he cut open the fish
The kerosene lantern was still lit.

The mailman said,”We’re not all that dumb.
You’re trying to hand us one big lie.
There’s no way that lantern would stay lit.
Next you’ll be telling that pigs can fly!”

Old Jake said, “Well, a fisherman’s lies
Is what this argument’s all about,
But you knock eighty pounds off your fish
And maybe I’ll blow my lantern out!”