Let me tell you about Fred,
He is dumber than a stump.
If IQ is a mountain,
Then Fred’s barely got a bump.

He started life with nothing
And he still has all of it.
His hound sleeps on the table
Fred’s too lazy to say, “Git!”

If Fred’s inches from success
He will miss it by a mile.
Fred has never been the dog,
The hydrant is more his style.

Fred called the fire department,
When his house caught fire one night.
When they asked how to get there,
Fred guessed firemen weren’t too bright.

They were messing with his head.
But Fred kept cool and said, “Shucks.
Why don’t you ride over here
In one of your big red trucks?”