Dear Mr. Government Man, Sir

The law called my folks yesterday.
The sheriff told my ma and pa
That you guys were looking for me.
Said I had up and broke the law.

It seems that when they sign you up,
You’re not allowed to run away.
I know you’re busy catchin’ crooks
But please take time to hear my say.

They took my coveralls away
And then cut all of my hair off.
You won’t believe what they done next,
When they said, “Turn your head and cough!”

It’s plain they were out to get me.
But I would surely be there still,
If that guy at the shootin’ range
Didn’t start yelling, “FIRE AT WILL!”

Sincerely,
Will Turnipseed, Jr.