In the beginning, God said to his son,
“Today I woke up in a building mood.
I want to have a creation party.
Go tell the angels to bring lots of food.”

God said that “it’s time for us to build Earth
And then fill it up with lots of neat stuff.”
But Gabriel was quick to tell Father God,
He thought that the job would be a bit tough.

“The environmental impact statement
Would probably take well over a year.
You’re going to need lots of good lawyers,
And You know that there are few of them here.”

A temporary permit was obtained
For the Heavenly project God had planned.
But then a Cease and Desist Order came
While separating the water from the land.

The Wetland Laws they said were established
To protect creatures not yet created.
Applying for waivers was now a must
Since all the laws had now been mandated.

More problems when God said, “Let there be light.”
They’d need to know how the light would be made
And know whether it would waste lots of fuel.
Last but not least, would there be ample shade?

“Most certainly”, God was quick to explain.
“There will be forests full of big shade trees
With animals and pretty birds and of course,
Lots of flowers with butterflies and bees.”

“There will be high mountains and lush valleys
There will be rushing rivers full of fish.
My Earth will be full of all the beauty
For which anybody could ever wish.”

“About those animals and pretty birds,
For them, there will be one more condition.
You will have to clear your creation plan
With Heaven’s Fish and Game Commission.”

Now even God had become befuddled
By complicated bureaucratic haze.
He said, “It is just a little project,
The most it should take is about six days.”

“But God, You know environmental laws
Are rules that even you can’t ignore.
Your paperwork should have been submitted
At a minimum of three years before!”

But we have been talking and we believe
That we have a workable solution.
Instead of creating things outright,
Why don’t You consider evolution?”

And that is the way that it came about
At least that’s the story the angels tell.
It was while waiting for His paperwork
God got the idea for building Hell.


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