Cold Nose

He was late for school once again
Miss Brown, his teacher, asked him why.
“It’s a little hard to explain,”
“But if you want me to, I’ll try.

It’s all because of Pa’s hound, Blue.
He has a nose that’s cold as ice,
He likes to sniff on everyone,
Sometimes, in places not so nice.”

Miss Brown said, “Now Billy, I think
That excuse is the worst you’ve told.
You say you’re late to class again
Because your hound dog’s nose is cold?”

“Yes,” said Billy, with a giggle,
“You’ll have to blame it all on Pa
Everybody around here knows
That Pa always sleeps in the raw.”

Miss Brown said, “Billy, be careful,
There’s no need for you to get crude
How can you blame being tardy
On your dad sleeping in the nude?”

Billy said, “It’s the truth teacher,”
With an exasperated sigh,
“If you’ll give me just a minute,
I am trying to tell you why.

Last night we heard chickens squawking,
A fox had gotten in their pen.
Pa didn’t have time for dressing,
He just grabbed up his old four-ten.

Then he snuck down to the hen house,
Low crawling on his hands and knees.
He stuck the shotgun through the door
And had started his trigger squeeze.

That’s when old Blue got curious
And Teacher, it was sure a sight!
So we’ve been up plucking chickens
Since about twelve o’clock last night.”

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