Clean Underwear

I travel the land, the air and the sea
And nothing can ever happen to me.

No disaster can come upon me unaware
Because I always have on clean underwear.

Victims of weird unexplained incidents
And airplane crashes and car accidents

Could all have been safe with a little care
If they had just had on clean underwear.

Nothing can happen to those who are neat
Who wear clean underwear and socks on their feet.

If the hospital would call my mother tonight,
To tell her I’d live but would never be right,

Her sorrow would be much easier to bear
If she knew I’d been wearing clean underwear.

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