Category: General Humor

Mother always laughed and told me, “Get your elbows off the table.” She thought that it was kinda funny ‘Cause she made it rhyme with Mabel Would she have thought it as funny If my name had been Eloise? Because then she’d have to tell me Somewhere I shouldn’t put my knees!

The judge faced the two opposing lawyers, “I got a bribe from you, Mr. Brown; A check for fifteen thousand dollars,” The judge said, with a frown. “Then I got another bribe,” the judge said, “A check for ten thousand from Mr. Green. According to Mr. Brown’s bribe, I would have to consider it a […]

He was cooking an elephant, When I first saw the pigmy man. The elephant was much too large To fit a normal cooking pan. I asked him how he’d killed the thing, He said he’d killed it with his club. How big a club could this man lift? Some tiny limb or stick or stub? […]

A good friend asked me to model. He said he’d like to paint my face. I took it as a compliment With my usual charm and grace. He said that my face inspired him To want to paint a brand new way. That it must be put on canvas. And would I sit for him […]

One bright light up there in the sky Was it Venus or was it Mars? Maybe not a planet at all. Maybe one of the many stars. I asked a tourist standing there, All loaded down with tourist gear. He said, “You best ask someone else Because I’m just a tourist here?”