Entries from May 2007 ↓

The bride had planned every detail The groom’s men were dressed to the nines. The wedding party all knew their places The preacher had perfected his lines. The decorations perfectly arranged The flowers couldn’t be more exquisite. The groom rushed in with his golf clubs “This isn’t gonna take all day, is it?”

“The secret of long life,” Gramps said, “A pinch of gunpowder at every meal. It will keep your body healthy And aches and pains will quickly heal.” It must have worked for Grandpa, He lived to be a hundred and three. He’s best remembered for the crater Where the crematorium used to be.

I weighed myself on a fortune scale It said, “You’re honest, loyal and true.” I felt real good until it said, “Looks like we got your weight wrong, too.”

I hit he. Knocked him down, Skinned his knee. Now he mad, As can be. If he asks No see me, Hiding here Up in tree.

My wife claims that my snoring, At night keeps her awake She asked for separate bedrooms For our happy marriage’s sake. I asked which rooms she had in mind, Her answer was quite plain. She wants to keep hers where it is, For mine she recommended Spain!