Entries from August 2003 ↓

Aunt Sarah’s favorite magazine
Had been The Saturday Evening Post.
It told her how to plant a garden
And how long to cook her Sunday roast.
With it she treated her aches and pains
And as for doctors, had no need.
Any illness Aunt Sarah had,
She treated from her monthly read.
But there’s sad news, I must report,
Last night we lost [...]

“The procedure’s an easy one, And you will do quite well”, she said. The nurse was speaking quietly While standing there beside my bed.
“I know that this will be your first And this procedure isn’t fun, You know you’ll be a better man Once this operation has been done.”
Had she addressed [...]

“Be the first one up,” I tell the bird, “The advantages are great.” But my advice for the little worm, “I think it best that you sleep late!”

I lost my stupid car keys, I’ve been searching high and low. I looked in all the places Where I would normally go.
They called me from the health food store, I had left them on the bar. But I won’t need them anyway Unless I find my car!

When Daddy fixes breakfast,
Things never seem to go just right.
Sometimes the things he fixes
Are a pretty gruesome sight.
The waffles, that my dad makes,
Would interest fossil lovers.
Be the envy of the steel mills
Where they make manhole covers.
Today when he fixed breakfast,
I’m not sure just what I ate.
He said it was a waffle.
But I think it [...]