Grandma’s got a boyfriend
He’s really quite a gent
Though he walks a little crooked
And his fingers are all bent.

When he comes to call on Grandma
He smells of wintergreen,
But he always brings her flowers
And he treats her like a queen.

His hair goes ’round his head
Like a snowy Christmas wreath
And sometimes when he sneezes
Out pop all his teeth.

He wears two hearing aids
They whistle and they ring.
Grandma’s canary likes them
‘Cause they always make him sing.

They were meant for one another
Becomes clearer as time passes.
They say it must be fate
‘Cause they can wear each other’s glasses.

But I think why Grandma likes him
Even though he looks such a sight,
Is ’cause his hips are both original
And he can drive at night!