Category: Church Humor

The pastor got a new set of teeth, Sunday’s sermon was eight minutes long. His speech sounded hesitant and garbled, The choir covered it up with a song. The next Sunday he spoke for ten minutes, The church members were all very moved, His sermon was short but inspiring And his diction had surely improved. […]

The community had gathered, The new priest was meeting his flock, This was his first congregation Since he had first donned the Smock. “What do you think of the Demons?” A little boy asked the new priest.” The attention of all those there Had very suddenly increased. The new priest, wanting very much To calm […]

Sue Smith stood up in church and said. “Thank God for answering my prayer. Healing my husband’s injuries, Demonstrated His loving care.” “When Kent crashed his motorcycle, His scrotum was horribly crushed. They called me from the hospital Where he, in much pain, had been rushed.” “His pain was excruciating, Success in treating it was […]

A priest was disgusted with the drunk Sitting next to him reading the news. The drunk turned to the priest and asked him, With words that were slurred by too much booze, “What is it that causes arthritis?” The priest answered, “Drinking ‘way too much, And sleeping around with loose women, Then using addiction as […]

We church kids all called her “Hippo,” Because we thought she weighed a ton. She always sat on the front row With her bratty unruly son. He liked to line the hymnals up And loudly make the sound of trains, Or take the offering envelopes And fold them all into airplanes. When he made Hippo […]