Category: Poems for Grownups

He said he was reading his speech, Because it was really quite long. He wanted to be sure he left nothing out, And that he didn’t get anything wrong. He owed his wonderful mother For all the success that he’d had. She raised their whole family Without the help of a dad. His mother was [...]

I smashed in the back bumper Of a great big king-sized van, But the driver who got out Was a very tiny man. He shouted, “I’m not happy!” With his tiny face all red. My answer was most unkind; “Which one are you then?” I said.

He was the first to request prayer, After the altar call was made; He said, “I may lose my hearing!” And from the way that Leroy spoke, Pastor could see he was afraid. He asked Leroy to come up front, All of the congregation too. “We’re going to pray for your hearing, And all of [...]

Grandpa was in the ER, He’d been there quite a while When the doctor came out. He wasn’t wearing a smile. “I’m afraid I have bad news;” With a sad look, the doctor said, “Your grandpa’s heart is beating, But I’m afraid that he’s braindead.” Grandmother was hysterical, “How could he end up like that? [...]

Two blondes had promised their father That they would bury him at sea. They thought that they would do the job, To save themselves the burial fee. They put him in his fishing boat, And took him out a ways from shore. They’d read the law required the grave, To be at least six feet [...]