Category: Poems for Grownups

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Fishing Trip

A wife should let her husband have At least one fishing trip a year. She’d really been quick to approve; My wife is such a thoughtful dear. The next Sunday morning early, I got quietly out of bed And placed a tender loving kiss On top my dear wife’s sleeping head. I grabbed my trusty [...]

Horse Tale

His wife showed him the note she’d found, “A hundred dollars for May Lou.” As she stood there threatening him With a sharp pointed high heeled shoe. “Honey, that’s a horse I bet on, I lost the hundred dollars, too!” She dropped the shoe and hugged his neck; “I’m sorry that I doubted you!” She [...]

The Girl I Marry

I’ll marry a girl as sweet as a dove. I’ll marry a girl with a baseball glove. I’ll marry a girl that’s gracious and kind. I’ll marry a girl that has a great mind. I’ll marry a girl that’s lovely and neat. I’ll pray every day that none of them meet!

$1000 Striptease

Just out of the shower When the front doorbell rang. I wrapped up in my towel To go answer the thing. It was our neighbor, Lee, With his usual scowl Which he quickly lost When he saw my wet towel. In his hand there were ten One hundred dollar bills. Lee’s the type of a [...]

Wrong Number

Just now when I called home My six-year-old picked up the phone. I asked if I could speak to Mom; She said, “No, I’m here all alone.” “Where is your Mother?” I asked her. “She’s gone upstairs with Mr. Brown. I’m supposed to watch TV And stay right here ‘til they come down.” “She told [...]