Category: Poems for Grownups

She was stopped for speeding
And she knew she’d get a ticket.
But if she played her cards just right,
She might be able to lick it.
When he asked her for her license,
She told him, “This will make your day.
I don’t have a driver’s license,
The stupid judge took it away!”
“And I have no registration,
Because this is a stolen […]

She came into my small office,
Her fifteen boys and girls in tow.
How she remembered all their names
Was one thing that I had to know.
All she said was, “Sit down, Leroy,”
When they had filed in through the door.
All of them had quickly minded,
Filling the chairs and half the floor.
I said, “It must be very hard
To remember […]

I told the pretty blond-haired girl,
Who I met at the health food bar,
That she shouldn’t laugh at me
For driving such a shabby car.
“My dad just won the lottery
And he has just turned ninety-nine.
His health is poor; he’ll die real soon,
And then his money will be mine.”
She treated me with more respect,
She told me that her […]

It was take your son to work day.
Mrs. Jones took little Pete.
He liked his mother’s office;
Her friends were kind of neat.
There were fun things on her desk
Some candy mints and toffee.
One friend said Pete could go with him
To get his mom her coffee.
“We make your mom her favorite drink
On this counter over here.”
“Wow,” said Pete, […]

His dad took him to buy a horse.
He watched him feel its legs and chest.
“When you buy a horse,” Dad told him,
“That’s two important parts you test.”
“You know that old friend you called
To come and fix Mom’s clothes dryer?
Mom said that she was thanking him
But I think he wants to buy her!”