Category: General Humor

The man drove up in my driveway,
Riding in a sporty red car.
“I want to buy your horse,” he said,
Talking around a big cigar.
“I heard down at the general store,
That he can play a violin.
I own a traveling circus
That I could use his talent in.”
“Well, I could sure use the money
But I wouldn’t want to cheat [...]

They were going to meet in Florida
Where they’d spent their honeymoon.
He had planned to get there first,
And she would come next day at noon.
When he arrived at the hotel
He found some changes had been made.
A computer furnished for each guest
Included in the price he’d paid.
He’d send a note to tell his wife.
“Dear wife, They have [...]

He called his landlord on the phone
“The roof leaks over my table,
You need to come here and fix it
Just as soon as you are able.”
“Just how do you know there’s a leak?”
The tightwad landlord was quick to ask,
He was not at all looking forward
To such an expensive task.
“While I was eating dinner last night
I began [...]

His four daughters called him “Dummy” And to his back made fun of him. Ever since he’d lost his hearing And since his sight had gotten dim,
While to his face they were all kind. Using names, like “Dear” and “Honey.” Since each had hopes she’d be the one To inherit Daddy’s money.
Then his friend, [...]

Harry Smith had a big pet rock
That he took everywhere with him.
He kept it in his fanny pack,
He even named his pet rock “Jim”.
Now Harry found a boat, one day,
And took Jim for a row-about.
They hit a stump out on the lake
And Jim and Harry both fell out.
The water wasn’t very deep
But Harry’s splashing [...]