Category: General Humor

Strolling through the jungle,
Ted and his buddy Bryan
Were surprised to come upon
A very badly distressed lion.
It was sitting out there alone,
On the hot Savanna Plain.
Its paw was red and swollen;
They could tell it was in pain.
Ted was quick to tell his buddy,
His gullible buddy Bryan,
About the man Androcles
Who had helped a wounded lion.
How the lion […]

A small town prosecutor
Called his first witness to the stand.
A grandmotherly type woman
Took the oath with upraised hand.
“Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
“Yes, ever since you were a child,
You lie and cheat on your wife
And know how to get people riled.”
“You think that you’re a big shot,
In the piddly things that you do.
You don’t amount […]

She asked me for my help,
She needed to sell her car.
It had 250,000
Miles on it so far.
With so many miles,
No one would even look.
She said she had to sell it
No matter what it took.
So I turned her mileage back
To 50,000 miles,
Using a special wrench
And an old mechanic’s wiles.
When I saw her one week later,
I asked […]

The judge faced the two opposing lawyers,
“I got a bribe from you, Mr. Brown;
A check for fifteen thousand dollars,”
The judge said, with a frown.
“Then I got another bribe,” the judge said,
“A check for ten thousand from Mr. Green.
According to Mr. Brown’s bribe,
I would have to consider it a little lean.”
“So here’s a check for five […]

The man drove up in my driveway,
Riding in a sporty red car.
“I want to buy your horse,” he said,
Talking around a big cigar.
“I heard down at the general store,
That he can play a violin.
I own a traveling circus
That I could use his talent in.”
“Well, I could sure use the money
But I wouldn’t want to cheat […]