The Devil went to church one day
To have a little Devil fun.
He threatened all the people there
Just to see how fast they’d run.

The church cleared out in record time
Except for Pete who didn’t budge.

“One in fifty,” the Devil thought,
But even one soul he’d begrudge.

He asked Pete why he wasn’t scared.
Pete said, “God shields me from all fears.
And besides, I know your sister,
I’ve been married to her for years!”